This is home

Thought One: I never knew how unsettling it was to be without home until I experienced it. Don't get me wrong, I spent the better part of three months with an amazing family who opened THEIR home up to me, loved me, and took care of me...but it wasn't my home. It left me feeling restless, like I didn't really belong. When I finally was able to make the move into my house, it all changed. I have a place and space that truly is my home. It took an unnamed, often unidentified burden out of my life and has allowed me to feel like the Hinsdale area is not only the place I work, but also the place I can call "home." (I am a MI loyalist, so I say home with the understanding that I still will answer anyone's questions with "I'm from Grandville, MI but I live in Downers Grove IL.)

Thought Two: I was in a meeting yesterday in which people were talking about what it looks like to identify the true need. Example: feeling lonely? The true need isn't activity, food, or whatever we choose to fill the lonliness. The true need is relationship. As the leader was going through all these examples, my rooommate and I kept saying "wrong" "wrong" "wrong." Feeling lonely? True need IS relationship--with Christ. Feeling sad? True need IS happiness--from Christ. Feeling neglected? True need IS assurement--from Christ. It was sad to sit and realize how many people are looking for something and won't find it because they're looking in the wrong places.

Which brings me back to my "homelessness." Did I really need a home to feel at home in IL? No, what I needed was to rest in the assurrance that I was living and working in the place that God had for me and that he would meet my every need. Will I ever be at home and feel fully complete...not until the day I'm back home with my heavenly father.

So, for now, THIS is home...

Grace and Growth

One major aspect of my ministry with WyldLife is walking with the juniors and seniors in high school who serve as WL leaders. We meet every Monday night--club one week, leadership the next, etc. Last night I was intrigued by the conversation following this question: "If God knows everything, then why did he ask Adam 'where are you?' after Adam and Eve sinned?"

In my mind, I jump right to relationship. God, the creator of Adam and Eve, the God who breathed life into Adam's lungs, who walked with him in the garden, comes to Adam with this question because he STILL desire relationship even if its perfection is forever shattered.

Common response from the high school students: To make Adam feel guilty. God, the judge, wants Adam to wallow in shame over his mistake...not far from how I viewed God when I was in high school--if I do this or go to that or say this then I'm good. As long as I'm not doing _______.

Thank God for grace and growth and I pray that throughout this year I will see shifting images of God in the minds of my high school leaders--the true balance of both grace and truth that God reveals throughout scripture.

I dropped the ball...literally.

Last night I was at the Tigers/White Sox game in Chicago. Some wonderful YoungLife people gave me their tickets for that game...row 12 right behind the Tigers dugout. The game pretty exciting with 2 grand slams in one inning (too bad the Tigers came out on the bottom of that!), but more importantly, I experienced the greatest disappointment of my athletic career: I dropped the ball.

Curtis Granderson caught a fly to end one of the innings, and as he was running in I stood up in my full Tigers' apparel and yelled, "Granderson, throw me the ball!" He looked. He saw the Detroit D. He threw. All my hopes and dreams of having a baseball straight from the mit of Curtis Granderson came hurtling toward me, got lost in the light a little bit, bounced off my hands, and landed three rows down. I dropped the ball and some White Sox fan--who probably never even played little league or knows a thing about baseball--kept it as a souvenir.

The rest of the game went by with many taunts from my friends and the random people around us about how I missed probably my only opportunity for a Major league baseball from a player.

Feeding Ducks

I was at home for a wedding on Friday and got to spend Saturday with my family--which involved a trip to the park for Noah and me. He spent some time feeding (and petting ahhh!!!) the ducks. Every time I spend time with this kid I'm reminded of the joy with which we should all approach life. Just thought I'd share some "feeding ducks" video from earlier this summer.

I'm Back...I think.

My father so kindly reminded me that I've been slacking off on this blog thing. Well, I guess the nine million transitions in my life overtook my blogging. But I'm back. Not in Guatemala, but back.

The transition back to Los Estados Unidos was a bit hard, to say the least. I've been analyzing it lately and really think that I transposed a lot of my culture shock onto Hinsdale. A little hard to minister in a place you don't really like (see JONAH). Well, God convicted me of my pretty crappy attitude and my heart is coming around and I'm excited to be here and working with middle school and high school students. Still not easy, but my heart and attitude are here.

It's interesting to think that one year ago I was student teaching in Guatemala. I've come so far, seen so much, and grown immensely in the past year. I'm thankful for all of it, but ready to live in the same place for more than a couple months.

I think the realization that is sticking out to me right now is what it looks like to pursue justice and mercy for all of God's children. God's children who are literally starving in Guate and God's children who are spiritually starving in the States are all crying out for someone to care and to love. So, unlike Jonah, I'm swallowing my pride and praying that God showers mercy down on this place and am anxious to see how he, in his infinite grace, uses me in that process.