Out of Towner

A strange feeling enveloped me this Christmas season: I am now an out of towner in my home town. I am the relative that people see at Christmas parties, special occasions, and few other times in between. I am the person that has to stand up when people at church welcome those that "aren't always with us." I will spent the next six months in Guatemala, and I won't return to MI after that time! Bring on the transitions from college to the 'real world' I guess.

These emotions give me small, small bit of insight into what Christ felt during his time on earth. Not at home or welcome (ok, I can't identify with that one) in the world that he created. But he persisted anyway. That dynamic, that healing of relationships broken, that reconciling creation to God, is what Christmas is about.

Grandville will always be my home as much as anyplace can be. I guess none of us are really at home in the nostalgic sense. There will always be a part of us feeling a little uncomfortable, a little off, because we live in a world that does not align with what it was created to be.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Years--start reclaiming some of our home and looking for ways we, as God's chosen people, can continue the story and move things toward the way they were meant to be in preparation for an eventual homecoming.

Three Weeks

Three weeks until "annetteinguatemala" will once again be written from Guatemala!

If you can't see it...

Bear with my ramblings on this one please, but I've been thinking a lot the past few days about something I talked about with my cooperating teacher. She has been teaching in Chicago Public Schools for a while now, and we've had a lot of really interesting conversations about the reality of inner city education. How do students break out of the molds? What's holding them back? How do we effectively educate the students we have in the situation we're in?

She shared a story with me about a student whose comment in response to some of those questions was, "if you can't see it, you can't be it." Think about that. For these students, if they don't have the examples in their lives, they have nothing to work for. That's heartbreaking in itself, but those words challenged me on a different level as well.

If you can't see it, you can't be it.

We are called to follow Christ, to be like him, "your attitude should be the very same as that of Christ Jesus." But, there are so many things in our lives that hinder us from seeing him clearly; and, if we can't see him, we can't be like him.

As Christmas approaches, I am caught up in the joy of this season, but more importantly, I have been thinking about what changes I need to make in my life in order to see Christ more clearly.

Time Flies

I cannot even believe how quickly my second placement is flying by...I have eight more days of full time teaching, then I start transitioning out. I feel like I am just settling into my routine at Kelly and I will be leaving. This year, and this fall especially, has been full of unbelievably challenging and exciting transitions.

And another one is coming. I am going back to Guatemala next semester to fill in for one of my cooperating teachers who is having a baby. A lot went into the decision, but it ultimately came down to two factors: first, if I don't go I really feel like it's an opportunity that I would look back on for the rest of my life and regret not taking. Second, the relationships are drawing me back. I love the students and teachers down there, and cannot imagine a better first job. So, next semester I will be back blogging from Guatemala.

As for my current student teaching placement, I daily see the reasons why God has me at Kelly. It's hard to see students show up to class with broken bones from a near-death gang fight, to hear teachers who write off students and have no passion for their job, to not be able to pray with a student whose pregnant aunt was shot in gang crossfire, to attempt to motivate students who have no desire or vision for education. Nothing about teaching in the inner city is easy.

BUT, I learned a lot about my limitations (aka I have them, which was a hard lesson for me to learn), and the kind of environment in which I will most effectively teach. Student teaching is a learning experience, and I definitely learned!

An Addiction

I'm addicted to blogging. It's cathartic for me, so I'm going to keep going...whether or not anyone reads it (it's not all about competition anyway, right?).

We sang a powerful song in church today. Trinity PCA (my church here) has a partnership with a prison ministry, and some reps from that ministry were at our church today. The worship leader writes songs specifically for the audience, and this one really hit me:

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Here I am

If you were looking for accomplishment, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted failures, so here I am.

CHORUS: Thank you God for love I don't deserve; Thank you God for love I did not earn

If you were looking for intelligence, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted fools, so here I am.

If you were looking for good citizens, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted prisoners, so here I am.

If you were looking for faithful men, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted doubters, so here I am.

If you were looking for righteous men, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted sinners, so here I am.

If you were looking for worthy men, then you know I wouldn't stand a chance. But you said you wanted me, so here I am.
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If my life in Christ was about me and what I have to bring, what I have to offer, then I would be nothing. It's so beautiful how Christ enters our weaknesses and makes them strengths, how he uses our vulnerability to bring change and hope into the world. I forget that sometimes in the face of all the pain and brokenness I see everyday. Christ doesn't ask us to change the world, he asks us to come as we are and offer ourselves as living sacrifices. That's something we can do.